--- In Goddess_Tarots@yahoogroups.com, Rachel Motes <voiceofthecards@...> wrote:
|Can't get a clear though on the cards but the first thing that came to mind was who lost what, and when? the overwhelming message is the feeling that someone or some thing was not in its proper place at the time it was supposed to be there, and that as a result a great deal of energy was wasted on both sides as an argument of some sort escalated around the subject of responsibility.|
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same
Sometimes your just so spooky good.
Tower Rx, King of Pents, 7 of Wands Rx
"as a result a great deal of energy was wasted on both sides as an argument of some sort escalated around the subject of responsibility."
Exactly so ...
I asked L to pick me up a pack smokes while I was at work, and (as she simply must) she managed to take a simple request and get it as exactly wrong as possible. Imagine if you will you smoke Cigarettes, you like a nice smooth mentaol, you ask you spouse to pick you up a pack while your at work, and your spouse gets you a nice pack of Pall Mall Unfiltereds -
Well I smoke little cigars, but its like that, L knows what I smoke, but she must get something totally other, must present me with the gift of her Befuddled Helplessness.
and I know, after 27 Years I should know better I should not EVER ask her to do ANYTHING, because the compulsion to fail, to find a way to gift it back to me so I can play BILL in her little psycho-drama and rub her head and be her hero and make wrong right, is just irresitable.
but another part of my brain says no ... Bill is long Dead, she lives with and off of me, and this grown woman can do some few little things to make a Token Effort to pull something some shadow of her own wieght....
but she can't - Failure is what Bill Loved, it allowed him to be her Hero; and not matter how much that failure toments me, she cant let go of that precious failure, the failure that gets you Daddies attention, Daddies Comfort Daddies Love - Cept Daddy has not been here for 27 Years and I have been picking up his TAB for half of my bloody life?!!!
Of course this is the fundemental reason why I am trying to disenage from this insane relastionship; her literal insanity; her utter inability to wrap her mind around that fact she does not live with Bill - her Dream did not come true; and start to respond to the man she actually lives with ...
I swear I am totally convinced that each morning she hopes to wake to him, each evening she prays it will be Bill and not me that comes through the door; and she cant change, because what would she have to live for if she let her sweet Daddy dream finally gooo.... NO Daddy Please... IM Still BRoken for YOU!!!!!!!! Just For YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--- On Wed, 11/26/08, blackbird_61 <email@example.com> wrote:
From: blackbird_61 <firstname.lastname@example.org>