Free Will, or Life at the Improv

This essay began as a reply to a post in group:

I had been thinking about my reply to Rachels Last , "You're worrying too much about the small stuf and you seem to be caugh in a rut of not being able to rise above your current negativity, because you're of the mind of if (insert deity name here) says I have to suffer then that's all I have a right to do. Just because the energies around you seem to be in a state of upheaval and chaos doesn't mean that you should see it as all there is to the current situation. Get out of the shadows and into the light long enough to realize that the misery of the current moment is of your own making.

Wondering if it is possible to make point out a fundamental philosophical disagreement I have with the statement, without simply dressing up a bunch of sour grapes, I will endeavor to do so, and you can Judge if I succeed..

It is perhaps Ironic, perhaps Synchronistic that my daily draw for that day was Justice as seen in the Gendron; for Justice is very much a card about Dualities, taking Sides, and struggle. It is IMHO among the Roughest of the Trumps, that sword carries two edges and we feel both of them from time to time. I certainly felt them that day,

First off in wrestling with this very essay, trying to find the right words to express the thoughts that follow; Later.

Coming home last night to Find L. Knee Deep in her cups, as usual; and the troubles that some of that reality.

If you should glance at my Transits Chart for Yesterday you would see that Mars Transiting My Natal Moon, and the Moon coming into conjunction with my Natal Mars are providing Maximum Possible Stress in my Chart. The Mars Transit is Activating My Sun/Moon, Mercury Moon, Venus Moon Complex of Squares as well as Trining explosive Uranus in my Natal Chart. ... So to make the point perfectly clear ...

It is true that I came home last night to L, that she was deep in her cups, and that is always a difficult situation, no Mars Required; but if I had left L a year ago, 5 or 10 it would have mattered Naught at all! These planets would still be positioned just where they are in the sky, the stresses in play would have been just the same, and they would have found another way of Manifesting themselves. Ls presence in my life does provide an obvious route for those difficult energies to manifest, but have no doubt at all, such powerful energies are not going to be denied, they will express themselves in ones life; the Question of how is nearly redundant.

I was speaking to this with my a friend the other day who informed me Saturn has been Retrograde for the last year, and is just now (May 17th) going direct again; Saturn speaks to the restricting forces in our Psyche's and in our lives; and although it is not possible to say with absolute certainty that LSD's continued and agrravated problems with her back have been how this energy has manifest in her life; given that Saturn has been in Virgo - A sign that speaks to health issues, concerning the spine; it is at least possible; and the tightening we see in the lives of so many of us; economically and otherwise might well reflect the larger manifestation of that energy.

So Rachel Advised, "Just because the energies around you seem to be in a state of upheaval and chaos doesn't mean that you should see it as all there is to the current situation." but as we see, to the extent that an Astrological Chart is an accurate Schematic of the Subtle Energies in play in a persons life, or a communities; in a given moment, (and I certainly feel they are) the chart of my present moment, is a picture of Chaos, and Upheaval, that simply is the stage I must play this scene out on, and and no amount of wishing that away will make it not so; and while it is true that Mercury for the moment has moved past its worst aspects we saw on the 7th, Mars is more than making up for that passage, and of course with Mercury in Rx, we will pass through those aspects again after it has gone Direct before this Act of the Play is truely done.

It is also true, that Mercury, Saturn, whomever whatever Deity or Planet you wish to name is certainly not out to "get me" or you or anyone; they are simply moving through their courses in the sky, but as they do so, the energetic situation they describe does affect us; It is after all a convenient short hand to say, Mercury is Squaring my Natal Uranus (or Chiron); it is much less a mouthful than to try to describe the energies in play any other way; and it is a bit of a stress relief sometimes to curse Mercury, for those stresses in play in the moment, and hope the old trickster takes it with good humor; because of course Mercury does not really mean me any harm by it. -- but these movements do at the end the day describe the stage we play out our lives on.

Of Course Rachel Finished with, "Get out of the shadows and into the light long enough to realize that the misery of the current moment is of your own making." and Pat shared that beautiful post about Dancing in the Rain, and of course I think we are all here, because we believe being here in some small measure helps us grow as a person, grow spiritually, grow emotionally; just grow ...

But to the extent that my Natal Chart, accurately describes me, or you or anyone, and I feel sure mine does; then the challenge is then to grow that person, the chart describes, into a something of a better person; this is precisely the nature of "The Great Work". My Chart does not describe the Dali Lama, It is not really a peaceful chart, with a great Trine in Fire, and Uranus Squared to Mars, it's a rather explosive one; and I was as a young man much more prone to those explosions. Chiron In Pisces becomes a personalized planet in my chart via the Quincunx with Mercury, the Nagging exploration of these very issues we are exploring here that this aspects anticipates and describes. We all, each of us, respond to life, largely in ways our charts would describe, we stay in character; sometimes despite ourselves, sometimes our aspects speak to our vices, our self doubts, our most self destructive tendencies; and of course we all try to overcome these, but it is the Great Work, because it is hard.

In my experience is all to often discussed in terms of a Dualism, either we live in predetermined universe, or the universe is not predetermined we have free will;

The truth is much more like this IMHO,
Life is something of an Improv, like an improv we are given a situation we have to deal with, (the Stars in the Sky at any given present moment, the Place, Time, and station of our birth.) Like an improv we are have a Character to play, (as described by our natal chart); with-in the limits of these two things, we have a certain amount of free will, and there-fore a real impact on how the drama will play out, but that impact is limited; we may be co-creators of our reality; but I feel it is a mistake to peg ourselves as the creators of our reality, and even our participation as co-creators is largely going to be inline with the character we were created to be;

Then I'luvatar spoke, and he said: "Mighty are the Ainur, and Mightiest among them is Melkor; but that he may know, and all the Ainur, That I am I'luvatar, those things we have sung, I will show them forth, that you may see what we have done. And thou Melkor, shalt see that no theme may be played that hath not its uppermost source in me, nor can any alter the music in my despite. For he that attempth this shall prove but my instrument in devising things more wonderful, which he himself hath not imagined.
JRR Tolkien, The Silmarilian.

Like Melkor, we may too find that despite how we might wriggle and Squirm, we have freely done, just what we were intended to do... that said, like Lucifer and Ivan, for some us rebellion will always be part of that role.

Brightest Blessings, BB